we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
