She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
