Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
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