I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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