She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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