Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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