I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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