With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
