Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
