You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
