What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
