She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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