Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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