yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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