I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
