why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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