I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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