we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sober January is a disaster.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
