Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
