I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
