so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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