he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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