So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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