i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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