he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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