its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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