so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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