i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
