Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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