To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
