May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
