Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize