"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
