Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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