having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
