I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
