he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
