i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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