I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
