2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My dad just said "fuck circus"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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