she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
