seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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