You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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