we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize