I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
