This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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