you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
