if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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