the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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