very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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