First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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