who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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