i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
