Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
