i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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