Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
