A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
