Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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