as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
