The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
