Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
