Me too!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
