is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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