What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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