THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
