yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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